


darling, your love is more than worth its weight in gold

by irisadler



Series: Say You Won't Let Go [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Cute Max Lightwood-Bane, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Established Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Human AU, Lightwood-Banes Being a Family, M/M, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood First Meet, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff, Married Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Mundane Magnus Bane/Mundane Alec Lightwood, Parents Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Rated teen for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-03-10 16:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13505559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irisadler/pseuds/irisadler
Summary: Alec gets home from work and finds his husband crying in his car. He’s understandably worried.AU where everyone’s human, featuring the Lightwood-Banes and lots of memories.





	1. date night

**Author's Note:**

> This entire story is inspired by James Arthur’s song Say You Won’t Let Go, which is ridiculously good.
> 
> Beta’d by [stupidnephilimlove](https://stupidnephilimlove.tumblr.com/), who is amazing and encouraging and just the best. Check out her [fics](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidnephilimlove/pseuds/stupidnephilimlove)! She just posted two new ones!
> 
> Come yell at [me](https://irisphryneadler.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!

Alec pulls into the driveway, smiling as he sees his husband’s car parked in front of his. _Magnus is home,_ he thinks to himself, the realisation making him as happy as it always does. He grabs his briefcase, plump with papers to grade, and heads to the door, a spring in his step. As he walks past Magnus’ car, he stops and stares. Magnus is sitting in the front seat, forehead resting on the steering wheel, sobbing his heart out.

Alec raps on the window, instantly concerned. Magnus starts, looks up at Alec, and is hit with a fresh wave of tears. Alec is truly worried now. He heads around the other side of the vehicle, opens the door, and gets into the passenger seat. Immediately, he reaches across and takes one of Magnus’ hands.

“Magnus, honey, what’s wrong?”

Magnus tries to speak, but can’t yet. He waves his free hand as if to say, “I’m fine. Everything’s fine.” Alec has a hard time believing that, given that his husband is currently crying like the world’s coming to an end, but if Magnus can’t talk yet, Alec will wait it out. He reaches across the centre console to wrap his arms around his husband. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, the seatbelt buckle digging into his side, but Alec doesn’t give a damn. He holds Magnus as close as he can, until Magnus’ sobs subside enough for him to choke out an explanation.

“I was just driving home from dropping the kids off at Izzy’s, and this song came on the radio and, Alec, it was _us._ It was our story. And I just- it took me back. To how we met and everything we’ve been through. I realised, all over again, how lucky I am to have you. How lucky we are to have this life, to have Raf and Max… all of it.”

Alec tugs at Magnus’ sleeve. Magnus clambers over the gearshift into Alec’s arms, and this is so much better. Alec can hold him properly like this.

They stay like that for a moment, and as much as Alec hates to see Magnus cry, he somehow feels like this moment is important. Cathartic, even.

“Do you want to listen to it together?”

Magnus sniffles and nods. They pull up the song on Alec’s phone and press play. The sound of a guitar strumming, followed by the first line of the song, fills the quiet of the car:

 _i met you in the dark_  
you lit me up  
you made me feel as though i was enough

Alec sucks in a breath as the meaning of the words resonates through him. Suddenly, he’s transported back to the first time he saw Magnus.


	2. i met you in the dark / you lit me up / you made me feel as though i was enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A significant meeting and some first impressions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta’d by [stupidnephilimlove](https://stupidnephilimlove.tumblr.com/), who’s my fave! Check out her [fics](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidnephilimlove/pseuds/stupidnephilimlove)!
> 
> Find [me](https://irisphryneadler.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!

As Alec hears the first lines of the song, he’s back in his parents’ law offices all those years ago, taken right back to the moment he first met Magnus.

-

Magnus strode into the law offices of Lightwood and Lightwood like he owned them. Alec, interning at his parents’ firm while still in law school, was waiting for his 2pm meeting with Mr. Bane in the conference room. When Magnus walked in, Alec stared. He couldn’t breathe, amazed by the sight of this beacon of beauty in a fitted cobalt suit, hands heavy with rings, eyes lined in black. It was only for a moment, though. Alec quickly remembered his manners and introduced himself with a crooked grin.

Alec was embarrassed by his behaviour, too caught up in his feelings to realise that Magnus was looking at him the same way. His eyes roamed over Alec’s broad shoulders and hazel eyes with more than a hint of interest. Alec extended a hand, inviting Magnus to join him at the table, and began going over the meeting agenda.

They exchanged covert glances throughout the meeting, which ran over as they kept managing to find ways to stretch out their time together. By the end, their questions were bordering on the ridiculous. Magnus asked for further clarification of a point they’d discussed three times just to hear Alec explain it again. Alec manufactured an excuse for them to exchange numbers - they both knew it was utter bullshit, but they didn’t give a damn. Whatever was going on between them was too significant for them to let it slip through their fingers.

That first meeting was a pivotal moment for both Alec and Magnus.

Nothing about growing up in this town had prepared Alec for meeting Magnus Bane. Compared to everyone Alec had ever met, Magnus stood out like a firework against the night sky. Meeting him had changed _everything_ for Alec… he’d realised that he didn’t have to live his whole life in the closet, didn’t have to become a lawyer to please his parents. Simply by being himself, Magnus had showed Alec there was another way to be.

Magnus, a high-flying and successful lawyer, had always been nomadic, travelling from city to city for cases that interested him. He never stayed in one place for too long, partly because he’d spent his younger years being moved from one foster home to the next. He’d had very few constants in his life. There were only two, really, his friends Ragnor and Catarina, whom he’d known since their days in a group home together. He’d moved here to be near them, finally wanting more than his jet set lifestyle, looking for a place to settle down. So, while Alec’s world exploded as he looked at Magnus, Magnus felt an unfamiliar sense of safety and belonging when he met Alec. It was only when Magnus was describing the feeling to Ragnor later that he realized that Alec felt like something Magnus had never had… Alec felt like home.

Alec’s conservative parents had hated Magnus on sight, but Alec had never been the same. Neither of them had.

-

Alec smiles at the memory as the song continues.

_we danced the night away  
we drank too much _

Magnus chuckles a little.

“You know what this makes me think of, right?”

Alec groans. He rests their heads together.

“Our first date. What a disaster.”

Magnus reaches up a hand to pat Alec’s cheek.

“That’s not how I remember it, love.”


	3. we danced the night away / we drank too much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A covert first date, featuring handholding and intoxication.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta’d by [stupidnephilimlove](https://stupidnephilimlove.tumblr.com/), a truly wonderful human! Check out her fics [here](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidnephilimlove/pseuds/stupidnephilimlove)!
> 
> Find [me](https://irisphryneadler.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!

Alec might groan at the thought of their first date, but Magnus smiles as he remembers.

-

Magnus and Alec’s first meeting had led to covert phone calls and frequent texts, and before they knew it, communicating with each other had become the highlight of their respective days.

Magnus asked Alec out almost immediately, but Alec was hesitant. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go on a date with Magnus, but where? _How?_ In this town, everyone knew everything. How could he explore the possibility of being with Magnus without outing himself to everyone? And then there was the fact that, if it got back to his parents, there’d be hell to pay.

Magnus understood, so he didn’t push. The foster system wasn’t kind to queer kids, and Magnus had never been secretive about who he was, so he’d had it harder than most. He’d been sent back into the system several times when foster families decided they couldn’t deal with him being open about his bisexuality. Once or twice, he’d tried to keep it a secret, only to be outed by others. In other words, he’d been there. He’d had it play out a million different ways, and he wouldn’t wish any of them on Alec.

Eventually, they decided to go to see a movie a few towns over. Later, neither of them could remember what they watched. They mostly remembered when Alec, under the cover of darkness, dared to reach out and take Magnus’ hand... Neither of them could think of much else after that.

Alec’s heart thundered in his chest, blood roaring in his ears. His entire being and awareness were focused on where they were touching, fingers loosely intertwined. It was terrifying and thrilling, and he loved it.

For his part, Magnus was overwhelmed. He had some idea how hard it must be for Alec to just be here like this, how much he must _care_ to try something that felt so dangerous to him. Magnus hadn’t expected Alec to make the first move, figured he’d need time, but he’d never been so glad to be wrong.

After the movie, they went to a nearby bar. Alec, nervous all over again about being out in public together, had too much to drink. Magnus matched him drink for drink, but soon discovered Alec was a bit of a lightweight. Magnus called a taxi, overriding Alec’s protests and insisting it was time for bed.

The entire time in the cab, Alec couldn’t stop staring. Aware they weren’t alone, he had just enough command over his wits to keep his mouth shut. Somehow, he knew that, if he started talking, he wouldn’t be able to stop. There was just so much to _say._ For example, did Magnus know how gorgeous he looked tonight? Alec had never seen him dressed casually, and it was quite the experience. Black skinny jeans did wonders for his ass, though Alec was pretty sure it was an incredible ass all on its own. (He made a mental note to verify his hypothesis with some scientific evidence as soon as possible.) Magnus’ button-down shirt was brightly patterned, but relatively subdued in comparison to some of his other… peacock feathers. His makeup tonight was minimal, just a little black liner to accent his eyes.

Suddenly, Alec was struck by the thought that this was probably Magnus being considerate, not wanting to draw too much attention to them. Trying to protect Alec. Even though they weren’t in their own town. Of course, it was hopeless. Magnus looked _amazing_ no matter what he was wearing, and people couldn’t help but notice. But still… The idea was a bit much for Alec’s alcohol-soaked brain to process just then, but his heart swelled with emotion, and he gave Magnus a sappy smile. Magnus smiled back at him, and Alec felt his heart leap. And god, _that_ was a thing that kept happening.

When the car pulled up to Alec’s address, Magnus asked the driver to wait while he helped Alec to his apartment. He heaved Alec’s arm over his own shoulders, bearing some of Alec’s weight, and walked him to the door. Once inside, in the relative safety of his building, all Alec’s restraint from earlier disappeared. Alec wasn’t speaking loudly, but the words wouldn’t stop coming, a mixture of compliments about Magnus’ appearance and overwrought emotional declarations that Magnus was the best most pretty person ever. Magnus chuckled whenever he caught a phrase of Alec’s mumbled monologue.

Alec’s volubility was matched only by his clumsiness. He stumbled up the stairs and fumbled with his keys for a long few minutes until Magnus took mercy on him and helped him unlock the door. Magnus helped Alec inside, noting the haphazard decor and careless arrangement of the apartment. All the components of a home were present, but there was a sterility to the place, as though nothing of who Alec really was could be found there.

Magnus convinced Alec to drink some water, leaving more water and some painkillers by the bedside. Alec wasn’t comfortable enough with Magnus yet to be handsy or try to kiss him, so he settled for looking at Magnus so longingly that Magnus thought he might just die from the sweetness of it. He wanted to kiss Alec for it, show him he felt the same, but that wouldn’t do. Not for their first kiss.

Magnus helped Alec out of his clothes and bundled him into bed, trying not to look, not wanting Alec to feel he’d taken advantage. The entire time, Alec talked non-stop, chattering on about everything and nothing. When he lost his train of thought or ran out of things to talk about, Alec returned to complimenting Magnus. It seemed to be a favourite topic of his.

Magnus felt a bit breathless, and not just from the effort of coaxing Alec’s drowsy self into bed. It was disarming to see Alec so unguarded, his iron control nowhere to be found. When Alec was settled at last, Magnus looked down at him. Alec was burrowing into the covers, little noises of contentment escaping him as he buried his face in the pillows, and Magnus wasn’t sure he’d ever seen anything so adorable.

Magnus turned to go, but Alec reached out and grabbed his hand, holding him in place.

“Don’t go,” he mumbled, words muffled by the pillow. He turned his head toward Magnus, and with great effort, opened his eyes. His hair was sticking up every which way, and his eyelids were heavy as he managed a crooked smile. And Magnus might have to amend his previous standards for cutest shit ever, because Alec kept raising the bar.

Magnus breathed out slowly, eyes sliding shut. He could _see_ himself climbing into this bed and curving his body around Alec’s, and it was quite the picture. Magnus shook his head, snapping himself out it. _No._ There would be time for that, but not today. He wanted Alec warm and present in his arms, the desire almost an ache. But more than that, Magnus wanted Alec awake and eager, drunk on kisses rather than alcohol.

Magnus opened his eyes, steeling himself to say no to Alec, but he was spared that. Alec had drifted into sleep, hand still clinging to Magnus’, while Magnus was getting himself under control. Magnus gazed down at Alec. His heart twisted to see Alec like this, his body relaxed and free of tension, his face peaceful and unburdened, his breathing deep and even. He looked _soft_ and so beautiful. Magnus reached out and brushed Alec’s hair back, surprising himself with the tenderness he felt as he did so.

He stood there for a minute more, just looking. Then, Magnus let himself out and went home.

The next day, Alec woke with a pounding headache and awful hangover. His memories of the night before were fractured, but he remembered being draped over Magnus, Magnus’ hands helping him get undressed, a jumble of embarrassing words, and a soothing touch on his forehead just as he drifted off.

He agonised for a few minutes, but he _had_ to say something. Do something. He dialed Magnus’ number. Magnus picked up on the first ring.

“Magnus? I’m _so_ sorry-”

Magnus cut him off.

“Alec, it’s fine. How are you feeling today?”

“Hungover. But Magnus, I-”

“Alec. Really. It’s okay. If I’d known you didn’t drink much, I would’ve suggested we slow down. You were nervous. Honestly, it’s completely understandable and could’ve happened to anyone.”

“I just feel bad that I ruined our first date.”

“You didn’t ruin a thing, Alec. You held my hand at the movies, and I got to see how gorgeous you are when you’re asleep. Not to mention those charming little snores-”

“Hey, I don’t snore!”

“Sure, you don’t, Alec…”

The conversation continued on from there, with Magnus gently teasing Alec and Alec finding he didn’t really mind that at all. In fact, it was a welcome distraction from his hangover.

When they hung up, another date planned, Alec sat down heavily, his knees weak as relief flooded through him. Against all odds, it seemed he’d managed not to ruin everything.

-

Magnus turns, putting his hand on Alec’s cheek as he looks into his eyes.

“I saw this, you know, that first night. That first date. When you couldn’t handle your liquor.” He smiles at the memory. Drunk Alec is still one of Magnus’ favourite things. “And I wanted more than anything to spend the night.” Alec remembers, even through the haze of time, the hollow pain he felt the next day when he woke up to an empty bed. It’s strange how, even after all this time, it helps to know he wasn’t alone in his conviction that this was special, right from the start.

Magnus continues, “But I saw that we could have more, _be_ more, than a drunken hookup. That’s the only reason I was able to say no. Because I wanted you _so_ badly. I still do, every day.” He punctuates his statement with a kiss, leaning up into Alec’s mouth like it’s all he wants in the world.

A long moment later, Magnus pulls away. “But I wanted more. Even then. I wanted the house and the wedding and the cats and the kids. All of it. With you.”

Alec is a little awed as he looks into those mercurial eyes, sometimes deep brown, sometimes nearly golden, now gleaming with unshed tears. “You really knew then?” Alec asks.

Magnus nods once, deliberately. Alec opens his mouth, unsure how to respond, but then he hears the next line of the song.

_but i want to stay with you until we’re grey and old_

Suddenly, Alec’s laughing, his entire body shaking with mirth.

“You were _not_ on board with the grey part!”

Magnus swats at him half-heartedly, but he knows it’s true.


	4. i wanna stay with you until we're grey and old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A grey hair freakout, wherein Alec is a supportive and admiring husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta’d and encouraged by [stupidnephilimlove](https://stupidnephilimlove.tumblr.com/), who is lovely! Check out her fics [here](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidnephilimlove/pseuds/stupidnephilimlove)!
> 
> Come yell at [me](https://irisphryneadler.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!

Magnus looks at Alec reproachfully, pretending to be offended as his husband laughs heartily, but the corners of his lips are twitching. Magnus knows his response to finding some visible signs of aging was… quite dramatic.

-

Alec had just returned from dropping off the boys for a Saturday morning play date, and he was pouring his second cup of coffee when he heard a blood-curdling shriek from the bathroom. He knocked over the mug in his shock, coffee cascading over the counter and flowing onto the floor as he rushed to the bathroom.

“Magnus! What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

The bathroom door was standing open. Alec stood in the doorway, panting from fright and haste. He looked in, half-afraid of what he might see.

Magnus stood in front of the bathroom mirror. His hands were clenched, his knuckles white with effort as he clutched the top of the vanity.

As Magnus stood there, staring into the mirror, he was utterly shocked and horrified. His self-confidence and assurance had been hard won, requiring years of therapy after getting out of the foster care system. He had finally gotten to a place where he felt comfortable in his skin, dressed exactly as he wanted to, and felt like his expression matched his inner self. And now this!

Looking at himself in the mirror, he kind of felt like his body was betraying him. He knew he was older than Alec, but that had never mattered to either of them. Now, however, with Rafael and Max in their lives, he valued every day and dreaded anything that might shorten their time together. Somehow, the unexpected sight of these grey strands seemed like tangible proof that he was aging and that this precious time with his family would have to end sometime - and that time was sooner now than it had ever been. He hadn’t meant to react so strongly, hadn’t even known anyone was home to hear it. In a moment more, he’d register the look on Alec’s face and feel guilty for scaring him, but right then, all he felt was anger.

Magnus turned to Alec, his face a mask of horror.

“Do you see this?”

Alec had no idea what Magnus was going on about. He looked the same as always, just as beautiful in sweatpants with his face bare as he looked in a fancy suit and makeup. His eyes scanned Magnus from head to toe, looking for an injury or something that would explain Magnus’ shout earlier. He saw nothing.

“No?”

“THIS!”

Alec realised Magnus was holding up a hand, pointing to his head, his finger an irate accusation. Alec stepped closer, trying to see what Magnus was pointing at. There, right near his temple, was a sprinkling of silver-grey hair.

Alec felt a bubble of relieved laughter trying to force its way out of his throat, but he managed to shove it down. The look on Magnus’ face told him this was no laughing matter. Alec took a deep breath, searching within himself for an empathetic response. Just because this was no big deal to Alec didn’t mean it wasn’t important to Magnus, which by extension, meant Alec cared about it too.

“Magnus. Love. You’re gorgeous. I’ve always thought so, since the day we met, and every day, you grow more beautiful. Grey hair won’t change that.”

Magnus softened a little, as he always did when Alec told him how he felt about him, but mostly he still looked hard and angry.

“I know it may seem like a small thing, but I did _not_ need to be reminded of my own mortality today… And are those _crow’s feet?!_ ”

Alec stepped over to where his husband stood. He inspected the offending hairs on Magnus’ head and peered at Magnus’ eyes before leaning in and whispering, “ _I_ think they’re sexy.”

Magnus laughed a little, slightly mollified.

“You think _everything_ about me is sexy.”

“That’s because everything about you _is_ sexy,” said Alec with a teasing grin, “and because I have good taste.”

This time Magnus’ laugh was full and deep, shaking his entire body. Then he sighed and looked at the floor.

“Are you... sure? I think I should dye it. I just… I don’t want the boys to worry. What if I look too old to be their father or something?”

Alec took a step back, looking at Magnus in disbelief.

“First of all, you _are_ their dad and nothing can change that, so your age and hair colour are irrelevant.”

Magnus gave a half-hearted nod. His eyes roamed the walls, scanned the floor, looking everywhere but at Alec. That wouldn’t do. Alec reached out and slid a finger under Magnus’ chin, gently coaxing it upwards until Magnus met his gaze. Then, he smiled, and the brightness of it took Magnus’ breath away. He loved every one of Alec’s smiles, but this one - slightly awed, filled with wonder - had a special place in his heart. This one was just for Magnus, and it made him feel loved and cherished and _seen_.

“There’s that face I love.”

Magnus chuckled. Alec was being a bit ridiculous, but he was trying to cheer Magnus up. And it was working.

Alec stepped close again, bringing his hands up to bracket Magnus’ face. He leaned in for a kiss, soft and sweet, before turning Magnus gently to face the mirror. Alec stood beside him, and for a moment, they just smiled at their reflection. Even after all these years, it was so good to see themselves standing side by side, rings glinting on their left hands. They’d known they were good together from the start, but they’d had to fight for this future. Sometimes, they still couldn’t believe they’d won.

Then, Alec made eye contact with Magnus in the mirror and began.

“I want you to look at yourself, Magnus. No-” He cut Magnus off when he tried to protest, then continued, “Just go with it for a few minutes, okay?”

Magnus nodded, and Alec heaved a sigh of relief.

“Look at your arms, Magnus. They’re the strongest arms I’ve ever known. You’ve held our sons in those arms, rocking them for hours on end while they cried. You’ve held me when I felt like the world was falling in, and you were the only steady thing in the chaos. You’ve built IKEA furniture with those hands, and god knows, that is _not_ an easy thing to do.”

Magnus barked a laugh at the last part of Alec’s statement, but it was cut off when Alec leaned down and pressed a kiss to Magnus’ bicep.

Alec continued, “Look at your eyes, Magnus. I could fall into them and never emerge. Look at your mouth. I could kiss it forever and never tire of it. Every line on your face is from you living your best life, smiling and crying and loving and _feeling_. So many of those lines come from our time together, and I wouldn’t trade a single one of them. I _love_ looking at them, because they’re like tangible reminders of our memories together, you and I and our boys. I love seeing how we’ve changed you.”

The eyes in question were a little teary now, as were Alec’s own. He pressed a kiss to Magnus’ temple, then another to the corner of his lips. Alec rubbed away the tears from his own cheeks roughly, as if they were a distraction.

“Look at your chest, Magnus. Not only is it, frankly, delectable,” Alec shot Magnus a heated glance, “but it houses your heart, which is your greatest strength. Your heart is the reason I fell in love with you. That heart gives me the love and support that get me through the day. Your heart is the reason the boys run to you when they get home from school.” Alec smiled. “Your heart is why we all turn to you when we’re hurting or sad, and it’s why you always know how to comfort us.” Alec’s eyes were welling up again as he continued, “Your heart is everywhere in our home, our traditions. Your heart is at the core of what makes us a family.”

Magnus flung himself at Alec, his hands reaching around Alec’s neck and bringing him in for a kiss. It was messy and slightly frantic, both pouring their feelings into the action at first, then it gentled as they calmed down. Each felt, once again, the grounding presence of the other. The steady and unfailing love they had relied on so much over the years.

Alec pulled back a little so he could see his husband’s face, but kept Magnus in his embrace as he spoke.

“And Magnus, that hair? That hair is the envy of fucking... _everyone_. The grey hair you were so worried about? You look _just_ as fabulous. Maybe more so!”

Magnus’ doubt must have shown on his face because Alec just kept on going.

“Magnus, love. You look hot as hell like this. You want me to prove it to you? I’ll give you three kisses for every grey hair you find.”

Magnus remained unconvinced, but he knew a good offer when he heard one, so he pounced on it.

“Well, in that case… I found twenty grey hairs today, so…”

Alec laughed, then rested his forehead against Magnus’. He knew very well Magnus had inflated the number significantly. Magnus knew he knew but still waited, curious to see whether Alec would call him out for it.

“Twenty, you say? Well then, I’d better get started.”

Alec kissed Magnus and kept on kissing him. At first, Magnus tried to keep count, just for the petty fun of the thing, but soon he couldn’t think of anything but the taste of Alec’s lips on his, the feel of Alec’s hands roaming his body, and those breathy little sounds Alec was making. For his part, Alec was - as always - undone by the _abandon_ with which Magnus kissed him. His body was a live wire moving against Alec’s, his hands fisted in Alec’s hair, the most delightful gasps and moans escaping him. As always, when they kissed like this, there was something timeless about it, the rest of the universe falling away.

From then on, every time Magnus brought up his grey hair, Alec asked for a number, tripled it, and set to kissing Magnus like his life depended on it. Magnus still pretended to consider dyeing his hair from time to time, but they both knew he wasn’t serious, especially since Alec told him often how lovely and distinguished the grey hair made him look, and Magnus preened himself every time.

-

Alec wipes away tears of laughter as Magnus lets a grudging grin show.

“You had me worried at first, Magnus.”

Magnus pats Alec’s thigh.

“I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

They sit there for a moment, just listening.

_and i'll take the kids to school  
wave them goodbye _

As he hears the line, Alec’s heart swells with emotion. He smiles, soft and full of pride, as he always does when he thinks of Raf and Max. Their boys. What a world it is… where he gets to have all of this, gets to be Alec Lightwood-Bane, husband and father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to post these chapters every day or two, but next, we're going to take a break from our regularly scheduled programming to post a one-shot set in this universe wherein Alec and Magnus have their first conversation about kids and adoption. (Because apparently, I have a LOT of feelings about this, and so do they.) After that, we'll be back here for chapter 5!
> 
> THANK YOU to everyone who's been reading and commenting! I'm so glad you like it so far :)


	5. i'll take the kids to school / wave them goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stressful night and a dance recital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta’d and encouraged by [stupidnephilimlove](https://stupidnephilimlove.tumblr.com/), who is lovely! Check out her fics [here](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidnephilimlove/pseuds/stupidnephilimlove)!
> 
> Come yell at [me](https://irisphryneadler.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!

Alec presses a kiss to Magnus’ temple as he thinks of Rafael. Their serious bookworm, ten years old now, so tall after his recent growth spurt, who can light up a room with his rare and lovely smile.

-

They’d recently completed the final steps toward becoming certified foster parents. Jocelyn, their social worker, had brought their first foster child to them several weeks earlier. It had been a hectic time as Alec and Magnus adjusted to having a baby in the house.

The baby, a four-month-old named Rafael, was malnourished from neglect, his body tiny and frail, with liquid brown eyes and an abundance of black hair. Alec and Magnus had loved him from the instant they laid eyes on him.

Just then, things were rough. It was the middle of the night. Raf had woken up crying uncontrollably and nothing they did seemed to help. They’d tried feeding and burping and holding him and letting him cry it out and so much more besides. He wouldn’t stop crying. It was going on five hours now, approaching three in the morning, and they were at their wits’ end.

Finally, Alec gave up and called Izzy. When she picked up, her voice was groggy with sleep.

“Alec? What’s going on?”

The sound of her voice was such a relief that Alec found himself tearing up.

“Izzy. Oh, thank goodness. It’s Raf. He won’t stop crying. We’ve tried _everything_. Can you-”

Izzy, bless her, threw on a coat and shoes and came right over. It wasn’t the last time Alec would be grateful his sister was a pediatrician. She checked on Raf and told them he had colic. It wasn’t too serious, but she gave them some ideas for different things to try - swaddle him, soak him in a warm bath, put a warm water bottle on his belly. She wanted to stay and help, but Alec and Magnus hugged her and thanked her and sent her home. She was a superhero, but she had a whole world to save the next day, not just them. Alec saw her off, then went back inside to Magnus and Raf.

They tried Izzy’s suggestions. They couldn’t tell if one of them worked or the attack passed on its own, but Raf was finally able to calm down and sleep. Alec laid him in the crib and turned to Magnus wearily, about to suggest they go to bed as well, but Magnus was just staring down at Raf. He looked exhausted, his face drawn, but there was a kind of awe on his face.

Alec put a hand on his shoulder. Magnus started. He’d been lost in thought, overwhelmed by the fact that this moment was real. All his years on his own, he’d thought he could only rely on himself, until Alec broke down those walls. Those open, honest eyes that always told Magnus the truth, always received Magnus’ truths with empathy and love. Those broad shoulders that were ready and willing to help bear Magnus’ burdens. Those gentle, strong hands, always reaching out to bridge the gap between them, that made him feel connected and grounded.

Magnus looked at Alec, unable to put everything he was feeling into words. He whispered, “I just… I never thought I could have this.”

Alec looked at him, and while he didn’t know everything going on in Magnus’ mind, he’d had a similar moment this morning. He’d walked into the kitchen to see Magnus bouncing Raf on his hip and talking to him in a soothing sing-song murmur while he moved around the kitchen preparing his bottle. It was all so incredibly _normal_ , and yet worlds apart from anything Alec had ever believed he could have. Recalling the memory, Alec felt like his heart was going to burst, so he just put his arm around Magnus and quietly said, “Me neither, love.”

It was another three years before the adoption was finalized, but that night, Alec and Magnus knew Raf belonged with them.

-

The memory flows straight into another.

-

It was Rafael’s first dance recital. Alec and Magnus and Rafael’s younger brother Max were in the audience. The rest of their friends and family were there to support Rafael as well, but this moment was just about the four of them. Of course, they would always be there to cheer for Raf, no matter what, but this was a momentous occasion because they all knew just how important this was to Raf.

Because of Magnus, there had always been dancing in the Lightwood-Bane home. Intricate steps, sinful grinding, slow swaying… it didn’t matter. Magnus _loved_ to dance. He danced in the kitchen when he cooked, in the bathroom as he brushed his teeth, in the bedroom when he _really_ wanted to blow Alec’s mind. (Alec could have told him he didn’t have to _do_ anything. Magnus blew his mind just by _existing_. And by loving Alec. But then again, who was Alec to turn down the opportunity to see Magnus dancing just for him? He was only human, after all.)

For Alec, dancing was yet another thing he’d never imagined himself doing, but with Magnus… it came easy. He wasn’t nearly as graceful or quick on his feet as Magnus was, but he handled himself all right. He got a lot of practice. Magnus loved dancing, but he loved dancing _with_ someone even better. If you were around Magnus while he was dancing, he’d invariably sweep you into his arms or hold out his hand to show you the steps. Bringing the people he loved into the activities he enjoyed was one of the many ways Magnus showed his generous heart, and Alec adored him for it.

After the boys joined them, if anything, Magnus danced more. He was determined to fill their home with love and joy and laughter, determined that the boys would have the best childhood and upbringing and home they could provide.

With Max, it had been easy. When he came to them as a chubby toddler when Raf was four, he’d easily fallen into Magnus’ ways, his uncoordinated movements more often than not landing him on the floor. But he’d always pick himself up and jump right back in, shaking his little tush in the way that never failed to make Alec and Magnus laugh.

The boys were so different and yet so similar. They were both loving and thoughtful, but they showed it in such different ways. Max was boisterous, talkative, enthusiastic, whereas Rafael tended to hang back, did better in small groups. When you got him talking about something he loved, though, his black eyes sparkled, and he leaned forward. Having Raf’s care and attention felt like a choice, a special gift.

So, it was no surprise, really, that Rafael had a different relationship with dancing. He always enjoyed watching Magnus and the others dance, was always present, but only rarely participated. He hung back, preferring to curl up with Church and a good book. Magnus always invited him, but never pushed. The few times Raf did join in, Magnus couldn’t help but notice that he was really good. When he was able to get out of his head, just move and enjoy, his movements were graceful and fluid. His face lit up and he seemed to be having so much fun.

So, it both surprised and pleased Magnus when Rafael asked nervously one day if he could take dance lessons. After some discussion with Raf to figure out what he wanted to do, Alec and Magnus enrolled him in a beginners’ tap class.

It was hard for Rafael at first. Not only was he older than the other kids in the class, but the other kids all seemed to know each other. Being the odd one out was never easy, but for shy, introverted Raf, it had been especially difficult. His dads encouraged him to try it for a few months, keeping a close eye on him to make sure he wasn’t getting overwhelmed.

When the recital was announced and choreography given, Alec and Magnus worked tirelessly with Rafael at home. Raf was simultaneously thrilled and terrified at the thought of getting up on a stage and dancing in front of people, so he put a lot of effort in. He’d worked really, really hard to learn the steps and had practiced his brief solo over and over again. At this point, his entire family knew the moves by heart, Max often doing them with him, following along as best he could. During the performance, Alec could feel Max at his side, moving just a little, doing the routine in miniature.

Alec and Magnus and Max waited impatiently for Raf’s group to perform. When he walked on the stage and took his place with his group, all standing in position with their heads down, they stomped their feet and yelled his name as loudly as they could. Raf lifted his head quickly, looking embarrassed but pleased before he ducked his head back down.

And then the music started. Raf and his classmates started to dance. It wasn’t perfect. They were beginners, after all, but Raf’s family could see just how far he’d come. All the work he’d put in had paid off and _there he was._ On a stage. In front of people. _Dancing_.

When the time came for Raf’s solo, they held their breath, willing him through it. He stumbled a little at the beginning, but quickly recovered, gaining confidence as he went. And then it was over, as quickly as it had begun.

Raf stood proudly on the stage with the rest of his class. He was beaming from ear to ear, his entire body vibrating with energy as he bowed.

His family leaped to their feet, Alec applauding thunderously, Magnus whistling with all his considerable might. Max stood up on his chair, cheering loudly for his big brother and clapping his hands in glee.

Magnus and Alec looked at each other, and they were both teary, overflowing with love and pride for their son. It was a moment they would always remember.

-

Alec’s eyes are closed, the moment shining as he recalls it. Before he can say anything, the song continues.

_and i’ll thank my lucky stars for that night_

Alec’s mind, full of thoughts of Rafael, goes right to Max, their eight-year-old ray of sunshine, all curly hair and boundless energy, so sensitive and caring. His sons are inextricably connected in Alec’s heart, and he simply can’t think of one without the other.

Alec reaches out and takes Magnus’ hand, clinging to him as the memory of Max’s adoption day starts playing in technicolor.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Family Timeline: Alec and Magnus were together for several years before they got married. About two years later, they became foster parents. Rafael was placed with Alec and Magnus at a few months old. Three years later, they adopted him. When Raf was four, two-year-old Max was placed with them. He was six when he officially joined the family.


	6. i’ll thank my lucky stars for that night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An adoption day (and night) to remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, beta’d by the lovely [stupidnephilimlove](https://stupidnephilimlove.tumblr.com/)! Check out her wonderfully fluffy stories [here](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidnephilimlove/pseuds/stupidnephilimlove)! (Pro Tip: I highly recommend her Princess Bride AU!)
> 
> Come yell at [me](https://irisphryneadler.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!

Alec is already blinking back tears. Thinking of Max’s adoption day never fails to make him cry.

-

It was Max’s adoption day at long last. It had been a long road getting to that day, with the bureaucratic process complicated by the involvement of the Santiagos, Max’s birth parents. The process had been longer than with Raf, Max growing from a rambunctious two-year-old to a compassionate, inquisitive six-year-old seemingly before their eyes.

They stood in the courtroom together: Alec, Magnus, Rafael, and Max. They had decided that the adoption finalisation hearing should just be the four of them, their adoption lawyer Luke, and their social worker Jocelyn, with everyone else joining them at home later for a big party. As the judge swore them in, Max was solemn in his court clothes, complete with tie and jacket. His fingernails were crimson today, both to match his tie and to draw courage from his favourite hero, Wonder Woman. Magnus was subdued in comparison, all charcoal greys and deep purples, having decided it was Max’s day to shine. Alec was handsome as ever in a black suit, while Raf wore a jacket and tie in solidarity with Max.

Alec and Magnus introduced themselves when Luke told them to, answered a few questions, and then it was Max’s turn. He looked nervous, but he took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and stepped forward.

Luke asked, “Max, do you want this adoption to go ahead?”

Max answered, “Yes, sir,” then looked straight at the judge. He swallowed, then said firmly, “I want to go home.”

Judge Herondale looked over her half-moon glasses at Max.

“And where is home, Max?”

“Home with Papa and Daddy and Raf, please.” The words were soft in the large room, but they still rang out clear as a bell. Hearing those words in that setting… Alec reached out blindly for Magnus’ hand, unable to take his eyes off Max - their _son_! Magnus was already reaching out. Their hands met, fumbled for a moment, then grasped tight, drawing strength from each other.

The judge smiled down at Max, her eyes twinkling.

“And why do you want to go home?”

Some of the solemnity drained out of Max as he bounced a little on the balls of his feet in his excitement.

“Because we’re having a big party later! And everyone’s coming over - Aunty Izzy and Uncle Ragnor and Auntie Cat and Madzie and Uncle Simon and Uncle Jace and Aunty Clary and-”

The judge laughed, putting a gentle stop to Max’s exhaustive list of party guests.

“Well, it sounds like you have a busy day ahead of you. What do you say we get this done so you can enjoy your party?”

Max beamed and nodded vigorously, curly dark hair haloing around his head as he moved. He stepped back into line with the rest of them, raising his eyes to Magnus, anxious to know if he’d done all right. _Court be damned._ Magnus crouched down for a moment, wrapping his arms around Max in a quick hug.

He whispered in Max’s ear, “You did _such_ a good job, love. I’m so proud of you!”

As Magnus stood, refocusing his attention on the front of the courtroom, Alec reached around Magnus to lay a reassuring hand on Max’s shoulder. When Max craned his head back to see his daddy’s face, Alec gave him an encouraging smile. Luke cleared his throat, and Alec turned back to the judge, his spine ramrod-straight again.

Then, Luke turned to Alec and Magnus.

“Magnus and Alexander Lightwood-Bane, will you confirm for this court your intention to provide Max with a good home?”

Alec and Magnus looked at each other. Magnus nodded, so Alec began.

“Your Honor, it is our firm and stated intention to provide a safe, nurturing, and - above all - loving home for Max. Since the day Max arrived in our home, we have... loved him more than we could possibly express…”

Alec was getting progressively more choked up and finding it hard to speak, so Magnus picked up where he left off.

“Your Honour, as far as we are concerned, Max is already our son. He belongs with us. He’s a part of our hearts and our family, and we just... want to make that official in the eyes of the law.”

Magnus wanted to say more, but couldn’t find the words, so he left it at that, turning his head a little so he could catch Max’s eye and give him a smile.

Judge Herondale had a few more queries for Alec and Magnus, then she turned to the boys, the atmosphere lightening, and asked them some friendly questions. The boys started talking a mile a minute, their words tangled up in each other, and Alec and Magnus smiled into each other’s eyes. _Our boys. **Our** boys._ The judge let Max come up to her seat and bang the gavel, which he did with gusto, making everyone laugh.

Suddenly, it was time for pictures. Out of nowhere, Magnus magically produced a bunch of balloons and a fabulous sign that read, “Welcome home, Max! You’re a Lightwood-Bane now! We love you!” The boys oohed and aahed over the balloons. Raf, in his superiority both as an eight-year-old and a brand-new _official_ big brother, took it upon himself to help Max read the sign by spelling out the words a letter at a time. They were unbelievably cute together, and their dads just watched them for a minute, their eyes full of tears. Then, Magnus remembered what they were meant to be doing and sprang into photographer mode, snapping a hundred photos himself before he let Luke or Jocelyn take a shot of them all together. And wasn’t that a thought? _Our first official family picture._

Then, it was the conclusion of the hearing.

Alec, Magnus, Max, and Rafael each took deep breaths and stood a little taller. In unison, they reached for one another, and then they were holding hands, united in the moment as Judge Herondale signed the adoption decree, as well as the termination of parental rights that had delayed Max’s adoption by nearly a year. Alec and Magnus shared a relieved glance once all the papers are signed. Then it was done, really and truly _done_ , and they exploded out of the building, the Lightwood-Banes in full force for the first time. There were tears on the sidewalk as they took turns hugging Luke and Jocelyn and thanking them profusely for being a part of the journey. The grownups talked for a few minutes while Raf and Max played with the balloons, then Luke and Jocelyn said goodbye.

Alec and Magnus looked at each other, then down at the boys, still a little disbelieving. _Our **sons**._ They really should go to the car. They needed to get home and get things ready for the party, but…

 _First things first_. They were finally, officially, the family they had already known they were, and that deserved celebration. Alec and Magnus crouched down on the sidewalk and sandwiched Max in a hug. He squealed in delight, then started protesting that they were squeezing him too tightly. Alec pulled Raf into the hug as well and held them all close for another moment. **_My_**   _family,_ he thought, giddy with happiness. Then, Raf poked Max’s side, and suddenly, Alec and Magnus had their arms full of squirming, giggling boys, and they wouldn’t have had it any other way. They held on as long as they could, then released them and stood up.

Alec looked up and down the street, spotting a local ice cream parlour a block or so down. He grinned mischievously at Magnus, knowing it would probably throw off party preparations and, in that moment, not caring at all. Magnus followed Alec’s gaze and rolled his eyes. He should have known today wouldn’t go as planned. On the other hand, today was already perfect. They’d left the house three Lightwood-Banes and one Santiago, and they would return as _the_ Lightwood-Banes. The sky had never looked so blue, the sunshine had never been so golden, and the birdsong had never been sweeter. If he was honest, Magnus didn’t want the moment to end any more than Alec did. Magnus grinned back at his husband, and Alec took that as the agreement it was.

“Raf? Max? How about some ice cream?!”

The boys were ecstatic at the idea, so they headed down the street together, trailing balloons and the rainbow glitter from Magnus’ sign. The newly official Lightwood-Banes ordered giant sundaes festooned with sauces and toppings, Max’s eyes like saucers when his came across the counter. Magnus looked across the table at Alec, telling him with his eyes that this was a terrible decision in so many ways. Alec looked right back, his eyes saying he didn’t give a damn, and Magnus had to admit that he didn’t either. If this wasn’t a moment worth celebrating, what _was_?

After they ate their fill and more, they headed to the car. Because of their delicious detour, the doorbell started ringing right after they got home. They hadn’t finished setting up for the party, so Magnus enlisted all their guests to help, directing people to finish hanging decorations, set out the food, and blow up balloons. It was madness, but it was so happy. Everyone dove in with gusto, and in no time, everything was ready.

The party was a huge success, and a good time was had by all. The backyard was full of music and people they loved. They munched on all sorts of tasty treats - the boys making an absolute mess of themselves with still more ice cream - and played the silliest games imaginable. As the evening wore on, the sun sinking below the horizon, the backyard lit up with lanterns and fireflies. The grownups sat around, talking about everything and nothing, while they enjoyed watching the kids play. When the kids got tired, they came and flopped down on the lawn near the adults until they found the energy to go tearing off again. Through it all, they smiled until their faces hurt. And everyone just… lingered, soaking it all in.

Eventually, reluctantly, people began to trickle out. Simon and Maia and Izzy insisted on staying to help clean up. Magnus put on some music, acoustic instrumentation and lush harmonies echoing softly through the house. Simon and Maia helped Alec clean up the backyard, while Magnus and Izzy tidied the kitchen.

The boys were finally running low on energy. Raf was curled up in the corner with the ever-disgruntled Church and one of his favourite books, while Max lay on the couch, his arm dangling off the side, running fitfully through Chairman’s soft fur as the cat purred.

Finally, even these last few friends left, with hugs and hushed goodbyes. And it was just them. Their family.

Magnus finished loading the dishwasher. He was drying his hands when Alec came in with the last load of party decorations. He set them down on the dining table and came over to stand next to Magnus. Together, they looked over at the boys. Max was half-asleep on the couch and Raf and Church were nodding off together. Magnus sighed, contentment deep in his bones, and rested his head against Alec’s shoulder. Alec put an arm around his husband, pulling him a little closer as they watched their sons in silence.

“They’re so beautiful,” Magnus whispered. When he lifted his head to look at Alec, his lashes were starry with tears. Alec looked back, speechless for a moment.

“Yes, they are,” he murmured, “and so are you.”

He leaned in for a kiss. Magnus turned into Alec, reaching up to put his hand on Alec’s cheek as Alec drew him in. The kiss was soft and slow and sweet, perfectly capturing all the things they couldn’t say with words. They stayed like that for a small eternity, letting the day wash over them as they clung to each other.

Eventually, they pulled back, laughing a little as they rested their foreheads together.

“We really should get the boys to bed,” said Magnus, a little breathlessly.

“I suppose we should,” agreed Alec.

Neither moved.

Alec gave Magnus a crooked little grin that made his eyes crinkle at the corners.

“Our sons, Magnus. Sons. Plural.” His voice was full of tenderness and a sort of astonished awe.

Magnus wasn’t sure he’d ever loved Alec as much as he did in that moment.

“We’re a _family_ , Alec. The _four_ of us.” Magnus whispered reverently, almost afraid to say the words aloud.

“ _Fina-fucking-lly_ ,” grumbled Alec under his breath, taking Magnus by surprise. He laughed quietly, not wanting to startle the boys.

“Yes,” Magnus breathed out, the single word suffused with gratitude.

They stayed there for a little longer, lost in wonder, at least until they realised the lateness of the hour. Then, they went into the living area. Alec moved the book off Rafael’s lap and managed to avoid bloodshed by shooing Church out of the way. He gathered Raf in his arms as Magnus did the same with Max. Together, they carried their precious, sticky, sleepy, grass-stained sons upstairs, gently cleaning up the worst of the mess and tucking them into bed. They kissed the boys goodnight, then turned off the light and softly closed the door.

Magnus reached out and took Alec’s hand.

“Let’s go to bed, love.” He smiled at Alec, and Alec smiled back.

It was the perfect ending to a perfect day.

-

Alec’s face is streaked with tears when he returns to himself. He thinks he may have missed some of the song, but he doesn’t care. All the memories have been so good, but these ones about his sons have a kind of shining joy to them that takes his breath away. Magnus looks up at him, his face a question.

Alec swallows hard, then says, “Max’s adoption day.”

Magnus nods, tears welling up at the memory as he squeezes Alec’s hand.

Alec kind of needs a moment, but he doesn’t get one.

_we've come so far my dear  
look how we've grown_

Suddenly, Alec is catapulted into the past again, to a time before the boys, and he’s in a cap and gown, ready to step onto a stage, nervous as hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Family Timeline: Alec and Magnus were together for several years before they got married. About two years later, they became foster parents. Rafael was placed with Alec and Magnus at a few months old. Three years later, they adopted him. When Raf was four, two-year-old Max was placed with them. He was six when he officially joined the family.


	7. we've come so far my dear / look how we've grown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec's graduation - a dream realised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s taken so long to update! It’s been a horrible week+ at work, plus I’ve been bitten by a vampiric plot bunny of epic proportions (help). But here is chapter 7 at last!
> 
> As always, this was beta’d by the fantastic [stupidnephilimlove](https://stupidnephilimlove.tumblr.com/), though I’ve added some stuff since, so all mistakes are 100% mine! Check out Chloe’s fics [here](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidnephilimlove/pseuds/stupidnephilimlove)! Her prof!Magnus AU is the best thing ever!

Alec remembers the nerves of his graduation day so clearly. But more than that, he remembers _Magnus_.

-

Honestly, after dropping out of law school in his final year, Alec had never expected to be walking across this stage. But, at long last, he had done it.

Scenes from the last few years flashed through his mind. Splitting his attention between work and school. Refreshing his dormant scientific knowledge. Late nights spent frantically completing homework and, later, writing his dissertation. And, through it all, Magnus. Unfailingly supportive, relentlessly caring, making sure Alec slept and ate and never gave up, no matter how hard it got.

Now, here Alec stood, about to graduate with his Masters degree in Teaching Chemistry, the first step towards his dream of becoming a teacher. He almost couldn’t believe it was real. And it was all because of Magnus. Magnus was the one who suggested Alec go back to school, who talked him through his insecurities, who helped him write his application essays, who’d been by his side for every part of it.

“Alexander Lightwood-Bane.”

Alec felt his lips curving up. They’d been married a little over a year by then, but the name never failed to make him smile.

That was his cue.

Alec took a deep breath and started across the stage. As he arrived at the designated point, reaching out to shake hands with the deans and other notables, he heard a series of piercing whistles and incredibly loud whoops from the back of the auditorium. A ripple of laughter wove its way through the audience. Even the Dean of Arts and Sciences, whose hand Alec was gripping at that moment, cracked a smile and nodded to Alec.

As Alec walked the rest of the way, his grin was so wide his cheeks hurt, because he knew - he just _knew_ \- it was Magnus. And he couldn’t _wait_ to kiss that man.

Alec returned his seat. He groaned when he remembered that, after this first ceremony for the Arts and Sciences, there would be an outdoor ceremony with all the colleges together. He was impatient already, because _fuck_ all of this pomp and circumstance, he needed to see Magnus. But he resigned himself to sticking it out, knowing Magnus would never forgive him if he skipped part of the ceremony. He could almost hear Magnus’ exasperation: “Alec, you _earned_ this! Enjoy the experience! There will be time enough for kisses after.”

Later, Alec sat in the sea of gowned figures on the sports field, fidgeting in the plastic folding chair while a seemingly endless procession of faraway figures gave speeches he didn’t hear. When the ceremony finally drew to a close, Alec was on his feet and moving before the graduation caps hit the ground.

He knew generally where his friends and family were sitting and headed right for them, but he had to fight his way through the crowds of graduates and well-wishers, so it took him longer than he would’ve liked.

Finally, he found them. They were still in the bleachers waiting for him. He paused, then, in front of them, just looking and taking in the picture of these people who were so important to him. Ragnor looked as grumpy as ever, but was holding the strings to a gigantic bunch of rainbow balloons. Cat was digging through her purse in search of something for an excited Madzie, so they were probably the ones responsible for the balloons. Simon was chattering away to Clary while Jace pretended he was too cool for their conversation. Maia and Izzy were taking a series of fabulous selfies. Luke was standing a little to the side, his face serious as he listened to whoever was on the other end of the phone. A work call, maybe? That was everyone, then. Everyone except the one Alec most wanted to see.

Where was Magnus?

Alec craned his neck, looking around. And then, he saw him.

Magnus was at the very top of the bleachers, apparently having climbed up for a better vantage point. He was searching the crowd, his eyes in constant motion as he tried to locate Alec.

Magnus was always beautiful, but today, he was a vision. He wore a statement suit in maroon, perfectly fitted, hugging all the planes and angles of his body. He’d kept it simple otherwise, classic black for his shirt, skinny tie, and shoes, while silver jewelry glinted on his fingers and ear, the perfect accent. His eyes were bold with kohl and dark shadow, his lips shiny with tinted gloss. _Cardamom_ , Alec’s brain helpfully supplied, well acquainted with its taste. They’d almost been late to Alec’s own graduation. He blamed that damn suit.

Alec stared for a minute. Admiring. Awestruck. So in love. Magnus was the most amazing person he had ever known… and Alec got to call Magnus _his_.

Izzy’s voice sounded in Alec’s mind. He could practically _hear_ the dramatic eye roll.

_What are you doing all the way down there, big brother? Go get your man!_

It was enough to snap Alec out of his trance, and then he was moving, bounding up the bleacher steps towards Magnus. Time and distance seemed to be playing tricks on him. He was taking the steps two at a time, dodging strangers as he went, but Magnus still seemed an eternity away.

A moment later, he was passing his friends. They barely had time to recognise him and yell out their congratulations as he barreled past them.

And, finally, Alec was at the top, just a few feet from Magnus. Magnus had been so focused on his search that he hadn’t noticed Alec coming up the steps, but then…

Magnus saw him.

And Magnus lit up.

He beamed, and he outshone the sun.

As Alec took the last few steps towards him, Magnus opened his arms wide. Alec stepped into them, into the sacred space where he belonged. For a long moment, they just held each other tightly.

Then, Magnus leaned back so that Alec could see his face. His eyes were full of tears as he said, “Alec. Love. I am _so_ proud of you.”

Alec’s smile split his face in two as he found himself tearing up as well.

He closed the distance between them to kiss Magnus, pouring all his emotions into the action, waves of love and gratitude and joy and triumph crashing over them.

All things considered, the others were more restrained than Alec had expected. They waited _five whole minutes_ (as Simon told him emphatically later) before swooping in. Suddenly, Alec found himself surrounded by balloons and cheers and hugs. And Alec had a sudden image of what they must look like right now, a celebratory throng of chaos and happiness, everyone talking at once, pushing in to get closer. And right there in the centre, the two of them wrapped around each other, laughing through their tears.

_I did it. **We** did it. _

-

The memory makes Alec smile widely. What a day.

He thinks back over the years since. It’s not easy working with rambunctious, hormonal teenagers every day, but he doesn’t regret his change of career. He loves what he does, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

_'cause you were always there for me / when i needed you most_

Alec’s startled out of his contemplation when Magnus speaks.

“You know, this reminds me of that big case I had a few years ago,” he says softly, then clarifies, “The time I almost gave up.”

Alec’s taken aback. Strong, bold, confident Magnus - his rock of a husband - nearly giving up? He has to think for a moment, then remembers a late night when it was just the two of them at Magnus’ office. Is that what Magnus is referring to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at [me](https://irisphryneadler.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!
> 
> [Magnus’ suit](http://everybodylovessuits.tumblr.com/post/150836232126/simple-cool-would-use-maroon-as-a-full-suit-can) :)


	8. 'cause you were always there for me / when i needed you most

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A late night at the law office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one’s set after Alec has graduated and after they’re married, but before the kids :)
> 
> Beta’d by [stupidnephilimlove](https://stupidnephilimlove.tumblr.com/), but I kept fiddling with it, so all mistakes are 100% mine. Check out Chloe's fics [here](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidnephilimlove/pseuds/stupidnephilimlove)!
> 
> Come yell at me on [tumblr](https://irisphryneadler.tumblr.com)!

Alec thinks back to that night a few years ago, before Magnus’ law practice really took off.

-

Magnus was in the middle of a big case, one whose outcome would help establish him as a lawyer in this town and could possibly make his career. As a result, Magnus was putting in a lot of extra hours. Alec knew Magnus was staying late and going in early and skipping meals, and he worried Magnus wasn’t taking proper care of himself.

That day, Magnus hadn’t responded to Alec’s texts since 4pm, and Alec was pretty sure that was a bad sign, so he picked up some takeout from their favourite Thai place and headed over to the law office. When Alec walked in, the space was dim and quiet, Magnus’ desk lamp the only source of illumination in the room.

Magnus was sitting at his desk, head in his hands. Even in the warm glow of the lamplight, Magnus looked exhausted. More than that, he looked disheartened. Alec had never seen him like that. Magnus smiled at the sight of him, as he always did, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

At that, Alec set down the bag of food and went to Magnus, falling into a crouch beside Magnus’ chair and putting his arms around him. Magnus relaxed into Alec’s embrace, and Alec could tell how much he needed this.

“Time for a break, my love,” Alec said quietly into Magnus’ shoulder.

“I can’t, Alec. I have too much to do,” said Magnus, waving a despondent hand at the paperwork piled high on his desk.

Alec pulled back from his husband, but waited to speak until Magnus made eye contact.

“Hi,” he said, smiling into Magnus’ eyes. He loved those mercurial eyes, changeable shades of brown that gleamed almost golden in the right light.

Magnus smiled back at him. It still wasn’t a full smile, still didn’t brighten his whole face like usual, but it was progress.

“Hi.”

Alec kept his voice gentle, not wanting to sound like he was chiding Magnus.

“Magnus, love, you need to rest. Come join me for some dinner, at least.” He debated whether to mention the fact that Magnus clearly needed to sleep, but decided against it. For now.

Magnus looked hesitant.

Alec sighed. “You can go right back to work after, if you really have to.”

Just then, Magnus’ stomach rumbled, probably responding to the delicious smells emanating from the bag Alec had set down on the other side of the room. He looked down in vague surprise, as though he’d forgotten all about his body’s trivial human needs.

Alec raised an eyebrow at Magnus. “Seems someone agrees with me.”

Magnus chuckled. He cast a longing glance at the mess on his desk, then nodded.

“I guess I can spare a little-” He didn’t get to finish his sentence, because Alec was springing to his feet, tugging Magnus up, and dragging him to the waiting area. He pushed Magnus into a comfortable chair and brought him a container of food. Magnus opened the lid of the container and breathed in the complex smells of red curry and jasmine rice, already more relaxed than he’d been all day. He took a bite and had to choke off a moan. _Holy shit, this is good._ Okay, maybe he’d needed this more than he realised.

Alec looked at Magnus, relieved to see that he already looked a bit better. The next step was to take his mind off the case for a while. Alec cast about for a distraction.

“You’ll never guess what old Mr. Underhill was up to this morning…”

While Magnus ate, Alec kept up a steady stream of chatter - nothing heavy, just observations about their neighbours, crazy things his students had done that week, and random gossip from the teacher’s lounge. When he ran out of things to say, he made shit up. By the time Magnus was done eating, Alec had invented a secret romance between the librarian and the history teacher and had all but accused the principal of having a pet monkey. Magnus snorted at that one, which Alec took to be a good sign.

Between the food and the drink and the company, Magnus seemed to revive somewhat, but he still looked haggard. It made Alec’s heart ache to see him that way.

“Do you… want to tell me about it? The case, I mean?”

Magnus looked surprised.

“It’s… a lot. Do you really want to know?”

Alec put a hand on Magnus’ thigh.

“Magnus. Of course I do. It’s bothering you, stressing you out… taking you away from me,” he pouted a little on that last one. Magnus gave him a half-smile, and Alec mentally high-fived himself. “I would love to hear about it, especially if it would help you to talk it through.”

Magnus sighed, then began talking. The words tumbled over each other to get out of his mouth, pouring out in a flood now that the dam had been opened. Alec had brought this up out of caring, wanting to unburden Magnus if he could. But as Magnus talked, Alec leaned in, genuinely interested now. Magnus really was facing a difficult challenge in court the next day, and though Alec had never wanted to be a lawyer, his education and upbringing had certainly prepared him for the career.

Tentatively, Alec asked a question, then another. His questions seemed to bring some order to the chaos of Magnus’ jumbled thoughts. Magnus was an excellent lawyer, there was no doubt about that, but if it helped him to have a sounding board? Alec was more than happy to provide that service.

-

Alec looks into Magnus’ eyes.

“I felt so helpless when I saw you like that. I knew I had to try to do... something. Anything.”

Magnus turns in his arms, raising his left hand to caress Alec’s cheek.

“And you did help me, love. More than you know. It wasn’t just the food or the advice, either. It was you, just being there. Knowing what I needed and giving it to me.”

Alec turns his head and presses a kiss to Magnus’ palm.

“And I always will. Anything I have, everything I am, it’s yours if you need it.”

Magnus smiles at Alec in recognition of the moment he’s quoting. They’re already thinking of their wedding day when they hear the next lines of the song.

_i'm gonna love you til  
my lungs give out  
_ _i promise till death we part like in our vows_

They grin at each other.


	9. i'm gonna love you til / my lungs give out / i promise till death we part like in our vows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long-awaited wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My eternal thanks to the lovely [stupidnephilimlove](https://stupidnephilimlove.tumblr.com/) for betaing this & making the gorgeous moodboard below! Check out her awesome fics [here](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidnephilimlove/pseuds/stupidnephilimlove)!

 

Alec gazes into Magnus’ beautiful eyes and knows that his own face reflects the same fierce joy he sees there.

**~**

It was a lovely wedding, an occasion many years in the making.

Every step from their first meeting to the altar had been a struggle, every victory hard-fought, so they’d been overflowing with triumph and delight and love when the day finally arrived. Alec and Magnus had faced many challenges along the way: public opinion, homophobia, conservative townsfolk, religious assholes, and more. Alec’s parents were the worst of the lot, even _more_ threatening and controlling once Alec dropped out of law school, thwarting their plans for his life. Their reaction when he came out was even worse, and when he’d told them he was dating Magnus Bane… well. Alec had been ready to leave town, just hit the road and leave everything and everyone he knew behind. Magnus had encouraged him to stay, to fight. They had persevered, and they had won. They were out and proud and together, known and mostly accepted in this town. And today, they were getting married.

They’d decided on having the wedding at their new house. Isabelle had protested, wanting something grander, but Magnus sided with Alec to overrule her. The outdoor space had really been the final selling point of the lovely home, and as soon as Magnus had stepped out the back door, he’d pictured many future moments, featuring kids and cats and summer evenings… and this day. Plus, _this_ was what they’d fought for. Their home. Normalcy. Each other. To be just another family in the suburbs.

So, in the end, their wedding was a backyard affair, elegant in its simplicity, noteworthy for its intimacy. Isabelle and Magnus had worked together to plan the whole thing, driving each other to extravagant heights of fancy but showing surprising restraint in the end. Alec loved the final plan. The event was very _them._

Everyone they cared about was there, their friends and family all present. Maryse and Robert were not, their disapproval still so strong they would not have attended if asked. As it turned out, they weren’t fucking invited, and no one missed them.

-

Alec looked into the mirror, straightening the lapels of his suit jacket. He glanced up when he heard a knock at the door, his hopeful smile falling a little when Isabelle slipped into the room. She was radiant in her navy bardot dress, gold jewelry, and bright lipstick, but she wasn’t Magnus.

She laughed when she saw Alec’s expression. “Don’t worry, big brother, you’ll see him soon enough.”

After the way Alec and Magnus had looked at each other when they’d gone shopping for their wedding outfits, Izzy had decreed they would have to get ready separately on the big day. “Otherwise, knowing you two, you’ll miss your own damn wedding.”

“We’ll make it,” Magnus had replied, grinning at Alec. “We just might be… late.”

“Very late,” Alec had responded, grinning right back.

Now, Alec smiled warmly at his sister. It wasn’t her fault she wasn’t Magnus, and he knew she was right. They would’ve kept everyone waiting if they’d gotten dressed (or undressed, as the case may be) together.

Isabelle handed Alec a small box. “For you, brother mine.”

Alec took it, turning it over and over, a bit surprised.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, Izzy. You’ve helped so much with the wedding an-”

Isabelle waved a dismissive hand.

“Alec. Just open it. I wanted you to have something to commemorate your new life.”

Alec laughed.

“New life? What new life, Izzy? We’ve been together for a few years. We live together. We just bought this house. Nothing’s changing.”

 _Except..._ he thought to himself. _Except I’ll have a husband. I’ll_ **_be_ ** _a husband. Something I never thought would happen._

Isabelle gestured at him encouragingly. “There’s at least _one_ thing changing. Open it!”

Alec untied the ribbon around the box and opened it. Inside, he saw two round gold cufflinks. They were a little larger than most he’d seen, perhaps bigger than he would’ve chosen for himself, but then he saw the design. Engraved on each one in a simple, beautiful script were three letters: ALB.

“My name,” Alec whispered, feeling tears sting at his eyes.

“Your name,” Isabelle said, coming close and wrapping an arm around him. She took the cufflinks from the box and put them on. Together, they admired them, the gold contrasting with Alec’s suit jacket.

-

It was summer, the evening mellow and mild.

Everything was ready. The guests had arrived.

Strings of vintage bulbs ran from the house to the tall fence, blanketing the space with a canopy of lights. The patio was left clear for dancing, rows of gold chairs with navy cushions occupying most of the backyard. The flicker of paper lanterns outlined the walkways, one down the center of the chairs and one in front of the chairs. Beyond that walkway, there was a wooden arch festooned with interwoven bright blooms and tiny lights. The plan was for Alec and Magnus to begin at opposite ends of the front aisle and walk towards each other, meeting in the middle in front of Ragnor, their officiant. After the ceremony, they’d exit down the center aisle together.

-

Isabelle knocked on the door of the second bedroom to let Alec know they were ready for him. As he turned to the mirror, he could hear her knocking on the door of the master bedroom to alert Magnus as well. Alec looked himself over one last time, nodding in satisfaction.

Alec left the bedroom and headed downstairs, smiling at Isabelle as he descended. Her eyes were wide, welling up with tears. Alec resisted the temptation to hang his head in embarrassment. There was nothing to be ashamed of. He looked good, and it wasn’t just the suit or the cufflinks that made him appear that way. Or, rather, it wasn’t _just_ those things. It was the smile, the expression on his face. Alec knew he looked like he’d just won the fucking lottery, and the fact was, he _had._ Because today, Alec was marrying Magnus Bane.

Isabelle rushed forward as Alec reached the bottom of the stairs, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. Alec held her, running a soothing hand down her back.

“Izzy… It’s okay. You just saw me, and you didn’t cry then! It’s okay, it’s okay… Come on, Iz. You don’t want to ruin your makeup.”

Isabelle lifted her head, a few tears glistening on her cheeks. She dabbed them away carefully.

“I know, but… it’s different, somehow. Seeing you now. It’s _real._ And Alec… I’m _so_ happy for you.”

Alec looked at her, eyes soft and happy. “I’m happy for me too, Iz. And thank you. For always being there, always believing in me, always telling me I could have this, even when I didn’t think it was possible.”

Isabelle smiled up at Alec. “I’m so glad, Alec. So glad you listened to your heart. So glad you finally have what you deserve.”

Alec pulled her close again. They stayed like that until they heard the click of the bedroom door closing and looked up to see Magnus watching them. Isabelle stepped away from Alec. He squeezed her hand as she went, then took a deep breath and turned to face the stairs, watching Magnus come towards him.

Magnus was beautiful. This wasn’t new information. But today? He was _resplendent._

Alec was glad for the breath he had taken because he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to make his lungs work again.

Magnus came towards him and stretched out his hands. Alec took them, and they looked each other up and down.

“Ale-”

“Ma-”

They started talking at the same time, then broke off, laughing.

“You first,” said Alec, smiling.

Without hesitation, Magnus said, “You’re dazzling, darling. Simply gorgeous.”

Alec felt his cheeks heat, knew he had a dopey grin on his face, and didn’t give a fuck.

“Magnus, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Always. Today is no exception.”

Magnus beamed.

“It’s decided, then. We’re the most gorgeous people to ever get married in the history of weddings.”

Alec threw his head back and laughed.

Just then, Isabelle came over to let them know everyone was ready whenever they were.

Alec crooked his right elbow and offered it to Magnus, who slipped his arm through it. They grinned at each other and walked to the back door. They stopped just inside the french doors, waiting for the signal.

Isabelle walked up the center aisle to stand up at the front next to Ragnor, who nodded to the grooms.

As the first notes of their chosen song started playing, Alec and Magnus looked at each other.

 _Tell me  
_ _Tell me that you want me  
_ _And I’ll be yours completely  
_ _For better or for worse_

Alec dropped his arm, giving Magnus’ hand a squeeze before pulling away. It was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do, but Magnus gave him a reassuring smile.

 _I know  
_ _We’ll have our disagreements  
_ _Be fighting for no reason  
_ _I wouldn’t change it for the world_

Alec turned to the left, Magnus to the right, and they headed down the patio steps. They each made their way around the outside of the chairs, locking eyes over the heads of their friends and family.

 _‘Cause I know  
_ _The first day that I met you  
_ _I was never gonna let you  
_ _Let you slip away  
_ _And I  
_ _Still remember feeling nervous  
_ _Trying to find the words to  
_ _Get you here today_

Then, finally, they were standing at opposite edges of the walkway.

 _But you make my heart feel like it’s summer  
_ _When the rain is pouring down  
_ _You make my whole world feel so right when it’s wrong  
_ _That's how I know you are the one  
_ _That’s why I know you are the one_

Magnus looked at Alec.

Alec stood tall and proud in a maroon suit jacket, black pants, and truly fabulous shoes. Magnus couldn’t have chosen better himself. Alec had left the first button of his crisp white shirt undone. He had a gold pocket square and… yes, there were hints of gold at his wrists, too. And yet, it was more than Alec’s clothes. He held himself with confidence, no trace of doubt or hesitation. His eyes were sincere, full of love and pride and admiration. He was devastatingly beautiful.

 _In life  
_ _It’s easy to get scared  
_ _But with you, I am prepared for  
_ _What has yet to come_

Alec looked at Magnus.

Magnus had kept it mostly simple with a white shirt, black pants, and elegant leather loafers. His suit jacket was black shot through with multicoloured metallic threads that caught the lights, so he shimmered as he moved. His brown eyes were luminous, accented with flawless wings and surrounded by a subtle dusting of gold. A jeweled maroon cravat and gold ear cuff completed the ensemble. He was indescribably gorgeous and uniquely _Magnus._

 _‘Cause our two  
_ _Hearts will make it easy  
_ _Joining up the pieces  
_ _Together making one_

Just then, there was no one else in the world.

After a long moment, Alec lifted his chin and squared his shoulders. He looked at Magnus and raised an eyebrow, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. Magnus smiled back, full and bright, and nodded his answer to the unspoken question.

 _You make my heart feel like it’s summer  
_ _When the rain is pouring down  
_ _You make my whole world feel so right when it’s wrong  
_ _That’s how I know you are the one  
_ _That's why I know you are the one_

As one, they began walking towards each other.

 _When we are together, you make me feel like my mind is free and my dreams are reachable  
_ _You know I never ever believed in love, I believed one day that you would come along  
_ _And free me_

No one could tell who sped up first, but their strides lengthened with their eagerness to eliminate the distance between them.

 _You make my heart feel like it’s summer  
_ _When the rain is pouring down  
_ _You make my whole world feel so right when it’s wrong  
_ _That's how I know you are the one  
_ _That’s why I know you are the one_

When they met in the middle, they almost fell into each other’s arms. Alec reached for Magnus’ waist to steady him, Magnus’ hands grabbing onto Alec’s biceps. They looked into each other’s eyes as though they held the meaning of the universe.

 _That's how I know you are the one  
_ _That’s why I know you are the one_

Ragnor had to clear his throat a few times to get their attention. When they turned their heads to him at last, their eyes were starry, their smiles tender. Ragnor’s face softened as he gazed at them, his gruff exterior cracking to show the depth of his feelings. He couldn’t keep his voice from shaking as he said, “I told you someone would come along who was worth fighting for, my friend.”

Magnus tilted his head and gazed at Alec, eyes full of everything he was feeling. He looked back to Ragnor and nodded. “You were right, my friend.”

Alec reached out and laid a hand on Izzy’s shoulder briefly. It seemed so right that she would stand at his side throughout this ceremony, just as she had through every hard time in his life. She beamed at him jubilantly.

Alec took Magnus’ hand in his, not wanting to let go for even a moment, and together, they turned to face Ragnor.

And then it was the two of them, standing in front of the family they’d made for themselves. And it was joyous.

Ragnor cleared his throat again, pretending to be unaffected by the occasion, then began the ceremony.

In the audience, Luke beamed with paternal approval. Maia’s whole face was alight as she watched her friends do what they’d dreamed of for so long. Clary smiled through her tears as she clung to Simon, who wept openly, tears streaming down his face until Luke took pity on him and gave him a handkerchief. Jace acted tough, but everyone heard him sniffling. Cat and Madzie bore identical huge grins.

When Ragnor had talked about the meaning of marriage and the love between Alec and Magnus, he nodded to them. They turned to face each other, Magnus once again reaching out for Alec’s hands. They hesitated for a moment, then Alec nodded to Magnus.

“Alec… oh, Alec... Alexander Gideon Lightwood.” Magnus shook his head briefly, then tilted it to the side, gazing at Alec with such tenderness that - even after all this time - Alec’s breath caught in his throat.

“You amazed me from the start, Alec. Despite everything you’d been through, everything that had conspired to extinguish the beautiful fire inside you, you were so courageous, so caring, so honest. On our first date, my heart ached with pride that you would dare so much just to spend time with me.

“And now… Every day, I look at you and I- I **_love_ ** you. I love the man you were when we met. I love who you’ve become over the years. I love everyone you were along the way, and I love everyone you’re going to be. Because you’re not just my present, Alec, you’re my future too.”

Alec’s heart stuttered like it still did every time Magnus said he loved him. He felt his eyes filling up, but he just smiled even brighter.

“I’m getting off track here…” Alec laughed through his tears, gripping Magnus’ hands tighter, giving Magnus some of his strength. Magnus squeezed back to show his thanks.

“Alec… This is still something I struggle to articulate, but I’m going to do my best. Because even more than every other, on _this_ day, I want you to understand where I’m coming from and why you mean so much to me. Until you came along, I was always on the move, always far away from the people I cared about, always felt like - in the end - there was only one person I could rely on… myself. But you rearranged the fundamental truths of my reality.

“I spent a great deal of my life feeling ‘other,’ believing I would never belong anywhere. You changed all of that for me. You made a space for me in your heart, and you told me it belonged to me if I wanted it. I couldn’t believe the utter trust and gift of what you were offering me. But you meant it, and you continue to mean it, and that never ceases to amaze me.

“Every time I dared to show you more of myself, dared to share my fears and insecurities and truths with you, you responded in kind. You built a trust between us that is indescribably precious to me. And that trust is the foundation of what we have today. You _see_ me, Alec. You see me and you know me and you understand me and, after all of that, you accept me and you love me. You and your love have _changed_ me, changed the way I see the world, the way I react to things, the way I live and love. Because I now act from a place of security and acceptance.

“Now, I have it on good authority,” Magnus said, glancing at Ragnor, “that I am supposed to make some vows at some point. I guess this is as good a time as any.”

He cleared his throat.

“I will be there for you, no matter what. I will always listen to you. I will carry the secret of your adorable little snores to my grave.”

Alec glared at him in mock anger as their friends laughed. The corner of Magnus’ mouth twitched.

“I will never dance without inviting you to join me, but I will never be angry if you choose to watch instead.” He followed this up with a significant glance that brought heat to Alec’s cheeks.

“I will not run away or pull away from you when life gets hard. I will work through our inevitable misunderstandings. I will give you the space to figure things out for yourself, but I will always be there to hold you when you need it. I will acknowledge and applaud your growth, just as you do mine.”

Magnus took a deep breath.

“Alec, you’re my constant, my anchor. When the world seems like too much, you ground me like nothing else. You’re my _home._ And what it comes down to, Alec… is that anything I have, everything I am… it’s yours. _I’m_ yours. Completely. And I will love you every day from now until the end of time.”

Alec smiled at Magnus, unbelievably grateful for the gift of this man. Now, it was his turn. He only hoped he could express to Magnus how much he loved him.

“Magnus,” Alec began, then had to pause to wipe away his tears. Magnus looked at him fondly, reassuringly. Alec took a deep breath, then started again.

“Magnus, the first time I saw you, I wanted you. _God,_ I still do. Every day. _Especially_ today. You’re gorgeous. You take my breath away every time I see you. But you’re more than your beauty. You’re strong and brave and smart and caring. You’re sassy and snarky and make the best cocktails. You dress better than anyone else on the planet. You know how to listen - really listen - in a way very few people do. Honestly, I fell in love with you before I knew half of the wonder of who you are. You became a part of me before I even knew what was happening.”

Magnus smiled, and it was like a sunrise, dawn breaking over his face and lighting up his eyes.

“You’ve been at my side every step of the way, given me your strength when I needed it, given me courage when my resolve faltered. Whenever I doubted whether anything was worth this much effort, I only had to look at you to know the truth. Only had to gaze into your beautiful eyes, only had to see that fantastic smile that belongs to just the two of us… to know I’d give up everything in the world for you. And I _would,_ Magnus, in a heartbeat. Then and now. But once again, you took me by surprise. You taught me that I didn’t _have_ to give everything up. That, with a little luck and a lot of determination, we could have what we wanted right here. You could have Ragnor and Cat and make a home for yourself here, and I could have my friends and family and _you._ And together, we could build something new and beautiful and strong that would weather any storm. And that’s just what we’ve done, others be damned.

“I could talk about you all day, you know. The way you’ve changed my life. The millions of ways you make me happy. All our hopes and dreams for the future. But I guess I’d better move on to the reason we’re here.”

Alec beamed, his face alight.

“Magnus Bane,” he said, grasping Magnus’ hands with renewed vigor as he looked full into those eyes he loved. “I will never try to change who you are. I will always celebrate every part of you, which to be honest, is not a hardship. There is nothing ugly about you, nothing small or mean or grudging. You are beautiful, through and through. You have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met, full of love to give, and I promise I will always step up to the challenge of loving you as much as you deserve.”

Magnus stifled a sob, tears flowing freely down his face.

He continued, “I will always say yes when you ask me to dance… unless you want me to watch, in which case, I’m more than happy to do that.”

Alec grinned, crooked and full of teasing. Magnus laughed through his tears and couldn’t resist leaning in to brush a kiss against Alec’s cheek. Alec’s eyes slid shut for a moment, enjoying the gesture, then he squeezed Magnus’ hands and looked at him again.

“I will hold you close when things are hard. I will stand by your side, an equal partner as we move forward into… uncharted waters.” Alec gave Magnus a private and personal smile, just for him. They’d decided not to tell anyone about the foster parent thing just yet, but they both knew what Alec was referring to. “I will leave you alone when you need to breathe, but I will never be far away, and when you need me, I will stay with you. I will always listen to your words and consider your heart.”

Alec took a small step forward. Magnus mirrored him. They were toe to toe now, chest to chest, their fingers intertwined somewhere between them. They looked into each other’s eyes, lost for a minute or two, then Alec continued speaking, words soft and sweet to honour the sacred moment.

“Finally, I’ve told you this before, but you taught me how to dream, Magnus. Shattered the snow globe of my life and expanded my horizons. Meeting you was like breathing deeply for the first time. Knowing you, loving you, having the privilege of being with you… you have raised my standards, taught me how to dream bigger, increased my capacity for happiness beyond what I could ever have believed possible. And you just keep raising the bar. You’re my _person,_ Magnus. My _everything._ And I’m so _happy_ , Magnus, so _proud_ to be yours and to have the privilege of calling you mine.”

Magnus was speechless. He gripped Alec’s hands so tightly it must have hurt, but Alec squeezed back just as hard. They smiled at each other, smiled like they were born to do it, unable to stop even if they’d wanted to, full of wonder and delight and overflowing love.

Ragnor signaled, and Cat and Madzie stepped forward with the rings. Cat was teary, Madzie beaming at her mother’s side. Alec and Magnus slid the circlets of cool metal on each other’s fingers, smiling the whole time. When they took each other’s hands again, unable to bear not being in contact, Alec’s thumb brushed over the design etched into the surface of Magnus’ gold band. Magnus did the same with Alec’s ring, admiring the textured platinum against Alec’s skin.

Ragnor’s mouth turned up as he watched the pair of them, lost in wonder, then lifted his head and boomed out, “I now pronounce you married. You may kiss your husband!”

The words were barely out of Ragnor’s mouth, everyone just starting to cheer, when Alec launched himself at Magnus. It was only Magnus’ grace that kept them from toppling over. He caught Alec and dipped him low, kissing him so tenderly and passionately that a collective sigh rose from the attendees. They could’ve stayed like that forever except Jace, tiring of his whoops and yells, bounced out of his seat and ran up to congratulate the kiss-dazed couple. The spell broken, the others joined the newlyweds at the altar, surrounding them with love and congratulations.

-

They all went inside for a delicious dinner. They ate and drank their fill, suffered through some terrible toasts, cried through some wonderful ones, and generally enjoyed being together. Alec and Magnus existed in their own little bubble. Later, Isabelle swore they seemed to glow the whole evening, to carry a light around with them. They were terrible conversationalists, each frequently distracted by his husband’s lips or hands. Eventually, everyone left them alone, curled up on the couch, smiling into each other’s eyes.

-

Dinner out of the way, everyone headed back outside. The patio was outlined with paper lanterns, and there were some chairs available for those who didn’t wish to dance. Isabelle had to go fetch the newlyweds, and their tousled hair and the disarray of their clothes led to many comments and wolf whistles. They blushed and beamed, far too pleased to care even a little.

Madzie had the honour of announcing their first dance. At first, she hid behind Cat’s legs, but after her mother leaned down and whispered to her, she stepped up, her voice loud and clear as she said, “Please welcome Mr. and Mr. Lightwood-Bane for their first dance!” Everyone cheered, and Alec and Magnus knelt down to hug Madzie close before heading into the center of their dance floor.

A song started, a rhythmic beat punctuated by horn blasts followed by a husky voice, and Magnus took a step back, extending his right hand to Alec. Alec grinned and slipped his palm into Magnus’.

 _Baby, it's been a long day  
_ _Things ain't been going my way  
_ _You know I need you here  
_ _You clear my mind all the time_

Magnus drew Alec close, bringing their joined hands up against his heart.

_And baby, the way you move me it's crazy_

His other hand moved to his husband’s back as Alec’s rose to rest on his shoulder.

 _It's like you see right through me and make it easier  
_ _And believe me, you don't even have to try_

Then they were moving, swaying in slow, lazy circles as the music played on.

 _Baby, we've come a long way  
_ _Baby, you know I hope and I pray that you believe me  
_ _When I say this love will never fade away_

They held each other tight, smiled at each other, whispered endearments breaking off into giggles, the love between them a tangible thing.

 _Our hearts are strong, and our hearts are kind  
_ _Let me tell you just exactly what is on my mind  
_ _You are the best thing  
_ _You are the best thing  
_ _You are the best thing  
_ _That ever happened to me_

When the next song began, the others joined them. Alec danced with Isabelle and Magnus joined hands with Ragnor and Catarina and Madzie. They swiveled their hips and gyrated and laughed until their sides were sore. The rest of the evening passed in a haze of warm lantern light, beaming smiles, good hugs, and lingering kisses. It was the best day... because it was the day they became the Lightwood-Banes.

-

After everything had been cleared away, the last of the guests waving their goodbyes and shutting the door behind them, the newlyweds stood in the kitchen looking at each other. Magnus moved into Alec’s arms, already opening for him, and leaned into his husband’s embrace, resting his head on Alec’s shoulder.

A minute later, he mumbled something unintelligible.

“What was that, love?” asked Alec, palm rubbing soothing circles against Magnus’ back.

Magnus said again, “Husband.”

Alec’s hand stilled.

“Husband,” he repeated slowly, tasting the word on his tongue.

They had been many things to each other over the years: crushes, dates, boyfriends, lovers, partners, fiancés. But never husbands. Not until now.

Magnus pulled back and rested his arms on Alec’s shoulders. They gazed at each other for a moment, smiles tugging softly at their lips. Then they leaned in, meeting in the middle. With no one around to distract them now, they lost themselves in each other, lips meeting and parting, tongues tangling, their breaths the only sound besides the ticking of the clock.

Alec brought his hands up to frame his husband’s face, deepening the kiss until he couldn’t tell where he ended and Magnus began. It was deep and slow and intimate, nothing urgent to it yet. Eventually, Alec pulled back, smiling helplessly as Magnus’ lips chased his, a frown creasing Magnus’ brow as a petulant noise escaped him.

“Bedroom?”

Magnus shook his head to clear it, considered, and then shook it again. It was Alec’s turn to pout, but Magnus just said, “One more dance with my husband,” and how could he refuse that?

Magnus took Alec’s hand and tugged him towards the living room. He put on some music, something jazzy and slow, a woman’s low voice crooning endearments.

 _It’s very clear, our love is here to stay  
_ _Not for a year, but forever and a day_

When he turned, Alec was right there. Magnus pulled Alec to him until their bodies were flush against each other, Alec’s arms going around Magnus’ neck while Magnus locked his arms around Alec’s waist.

“There. That isn’t so bad, is it?” Magnus murmured into Alec’s ear.

“You know I love dancing with you,” said Alec quietly.

Magnus smiled.

They moved in time with the beat of the song, enjoying being pressed up against each other, the closeness and the intimacy.

 _The radio and the telephone  
_ _And the movies that we know  
_ _May just be passing fancies  
_ _And in time may go  
_ _But oh, oh my dear  
_ _Our love is here to stay  
_ _Together we're going a long, long way  
_ _In time the Rockies may crumble  
_ _Gibraltar may tumble  
_ _They're only made of clay  
_ _But forever and a day  
_ _Our love is here to stay  
_ _Our love is here to stay_

When the last notes faded, Magnus leaned in for a kiss. It was quick, but when he pulled back, Alec leaned in to return the favour, eyes sliding shut as they traded slow, deep kisses. Magnus whispered, “Thank you for the dance, husband.”

Alec opened his eyes, smiling as Magnus came into focus. “Anytime, husband.”

Magnus pressed a kiss to the corner of Alec’s mouth. In response, Alec nuzzled Magnus’ nose with his own.

“Bedtime?” asked Magnus.

Alec looked around, taking in their house, the home and life they had built together. He sighed, a release of all his feelings: satisfaction and happiness and contentment. Magnus watched him, gaze tender, understanding and sharing what Alec was feeling.

“Yes,” said Alec. “Let’s go to bed, love.”

Hand in hand, they headed up the stairs.

**~**

Alec’s eyes are wet and his cheeks hurt from smiling.

He looks at Magnus in his arms. They laugh through their sniffles and their tears.

“That was a good day,” says Alec.

“It was a _very_ good day,” says Magnus.

They smile at each other wordlessly as the last lines of the song linger in the silence of the car.

 _just say you won’t let go  
_ _just say you won’t let go..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They walk down the aisle to [Kodaline’s The One (Acoustic)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmPJBXnTI8Y), their first dance is [Ray Lamontagne’s You are the Best Thing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkntWssHboY), and their dance before bed is [Ella Fitzgerald’s Love is Here to Stay](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YlZczozs4c).


	10. date night, resumed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A return to reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it, people! I FINISHED a multi-chapter fic! Thank you for bearing with me on the long gaps between these last few chapters. Thanks for reading and commenting and leaving kudos and all of it. You’re awesome!!!
> 
> Many thanks to the eternally lovely [stupidnephilimlove](https://stupidnephilimlove.tumblr.com) for betaing this and encouraging it from the start. Find their fics [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidnephilimlove/pseuds/stupidnephilimlove)!

The song ends, the last strains of music fading away. Magnus is in tears again, but Alec’s been reduced to a sobbing mess.

Magnus is right. It’s their story. Not exactly, of course, but there’s so much honesty to it. It’s amazing to hear it like this, distilled, the truth of them in three minutes and change.

Alec feels stunned, wrung out by all the emotions he’s experienced. His face is wet with tears, and he doesn’t have any words. He’d been so worried about Magnus when he found him crying in the car, but now he understands _why_.

Alec is glad Magnus is already on his lap, because he needs this, needs Magnus close to him. He needs to feel Magnus’ heart beating, needs to brush away the last few tears on Magnus’ gorgeous face. It’s an affirmation that he wasn’t alone on the emotional journey he just experienced.

They sit there, holding each other, feeling joy and relief and love. Joy at what they have, what neither had believed they could have in life. Relief that they’ve made it this far, despite all the challenges they’ve faced. And so much love. Love for each other, their boys, their cats, and the life they’ve built together. For the things that make life crazy and hectic and so, so worth it.

They stay like that a little longer, just resting together in the moment. After a while, Alec raises his head and asks, “Do you want to stay in tonight?”

“Yes,” says Magnus softly. “Let’s go home, love.”

They unfold themselves and get out of the car, retrieving Alec’s forgotten briefcase from the driveway, and walk into the house, hand in hand.

“What do you feel like?” Alec asks quietly, setting down his briefcase in the entryway. The song may be over, but he still feels like he’s under its spell, the memories creating a mood that’s still continuing, a moment he doesn’t want to break.

Magnus tilts his head, humming as he considers. “Pizza?” he offers.

“Pizza it is,” Alec says with a smile. “The usual?”

“You know it,” replies Magnus with a wink.

Alec grabs a tissue from the side table and hands one to Magnus, who takes it with a grateful nod.

They blow their noses, a duet of trumpets that makes them laugh. Magnus crumples up his tissue and tosses it at the trashcan, groaning when it overshoots the bin. Alec does the same, smirking triumphantly when his lands squarely inside. Magnus sticks out his tongue at Alec, then goes over to put his tissue where it belongs.

Magnus goes upstairs to change and take off his makeup. Alec places the pizza order, then goes up to change as well. He sighs with relief when he loosens his tie.

“Long day?” asks Magnus, coming out of the bathroom, feet and face bare, wearing joggers and a soft t-shirt. Alec pauses, still struck with wonder at the sight of him, even after all these years.

“Alec?” Magnus prompts him.

“...Oh,” says Alec, realising he’s staring. “Yeah. Kids acting crazy. Must be a full moon or something,” he sighs, taking off his tie and beginning to unbutton his shirt. He’s too tired to go into all of that at the moment. He just wants to be here and now. With Magnus.

“Never get over the sight of you,” he says quietly, looking over at Magnus, wanting his husband to see that he means it.

Magnus smiles, fond and tender. “I’m the luckiest man in the world to have you.”

Alec smiles back. “Agree to disagree,” he says. They’ve been through this argument so many times that the words have become a kind of timeworn shorthand, imbued with affection, sounding more like vows than retorts.

Alec shrugs off his shirt and sits down on the bed to remove his shoes, making quick work of his slacks and sighing with relief when he’s dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt at last. This isn’t what he’d thought the evening would be like, but he’s not at all disappointed. He loves a cozy night in, just the two of them.

Magnus has been leaning against the bureau, watching him with a fond smile on his lips. Alec goes over to him and leans in, placing his hands on the dresser on either side of Magnus, bracketing Magnus with his body.

“I can’t believe I haven’t kissed you yet,” he whispers.

Magnus leans into Alec’s body and looks into his eyes, his own shining with warmth and affection.

“How about I correct that oversight?” he murmurs, closing the distance between them and pressing his lips to Alec’s in a gentle kiss.

They lose themselves in the moment and in each other, not needing words to communicate. By now, they’ve learned each other so well, so thoroughly, that they each know just what their husband likes. In this, as in so many things, they’re generous, giving freely of themselves. It’s one of the reasons they’ve lasted. There’s nothing begrudging about the way they are with each other. It’s love, freely given, simple and true and powerful, the foundation of their life together.

They’re interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. Magnus pulls back first, Alec chasing his lips. Magnus laughs breathlessly, resting his forehead against Alec’s.

“We should probably get that,” he says, chuckling quietly.

Alec grumbles but reluctantly goes to answer the door.

-

They cuddle up on the couch with the pizza and their beverages of choice: lemon seltzer for Alec and wine for Magnus. Alec never much liked alcohol, and he’s finally given up on it since he’s much happier drinking other delicious things.

They enjoy their loaded pizza - pesto and chicken and bacon and spinach and sundried tomatoes with three kinds of cheese - one of their favourite indulgences, reserved for quiet evenings in since the boys generally request _their_ toppings of choice. For a time, there’s no conversation, just staying close and eating in comfortable silence.

“Refill?” asks Alec, getting up to take the pizza box to the kitchen.

“Yes, please,” Magnus says with a smile, handing Alec his wine glass.

Alec returns with Magnus’ drink, a carton of raspberry dark chocolate ice cream, and two spoons.

Magnus groans in appreciation. “You certainly know the way to my heart...”

Alec grins and sits back down next to Magnus, still holding the ice cream. Magnus ducks under Alec’s arm and nestles against his side, already reaching for a spoon. Alec holds the utensil out of reach and smirks.

“Nuh uh… gotta pay the toll first.”

Magnus rolls his eyes and leans up for a kiss. They get a little distracted, so the ice cream’s a bit melted by the time they get to it, but neither of them minds. When they’ve had their fill, Magnus returns it to the freezer. Alec sits on the couch, eyes closed, relaxed and comfortable and happy. He smiles when he hears soft music start playing. Of course. Magnus loves some mood music. Alec opens his eyes and looks around, thinking of all the songs and words and notes that have gone into these walls. For a moment, he imagines that the music Magnus has brought into their lives has woven a kind of spell on this home of theirs, imbuing its very brick and mortar with love and protection and happiness. Magnus always says that music is magic, and Alec has to agree. He closes his eyes again, listening to the soft beat and mellow instrumentation of the song. A moment later, Magnus’ warmth presses against him.

“What are you thinking about, husband?” Magnus asks.

Alec opens his eyes, smiling softly. “Oh, just that you must be some kind of wizard,” he teases.

“Oh _really?_ ” says Magnus, grinning mischievously. “And why’s that?”

Alec shrugs, unable to put his thoughts into words, so settling for something else entirely. It's certainly true. “You certainly enchanted me the moment we met.”

Magnus leans in for a quick, gentle kiss. “ _That_ , my love, was entirely mutual, so if I’m a wizard, you must be one too.”

Alec draws Magnus closer and presses a kiss to his cheek. Magnus smiles at him, and Alec still feels that smile down to his toes every damn time. They drift into conversation somehow and end up talking and talking and talking. And it’s so _good_.

-

They discuss their days and the boys and upcoming events, share their frustrations and funny stories and more until they’re talked out. They sit in peaceful silence, warm and mellow and snuggled up together, all wrapped up in each other’s closeness and kisses.

A song starts playing, and Magnus starts to hum along. Alec can’t help but smile at this habit of Magnus’. Then Magnus disentangles himself from Alec and stands, and Alec grumbles because where is he _going?_ But then, Magnus is standing in front of him, smiling down at him with those burnished eyes, extending his hand to Alec with a graceful flourish. And Alec _never_ says no to dancing with his husband. It was, quite literally, one of his wedding vows.

 _I need no soft lights to enchant me  
_ _If you will only grant me  
_ _The right to hold you ever so tight  
_ _And to feel in the night  
_ _The nearness of you_

Alec stands and takes Magnus’ hand. They fall into the familiar position, one of Magnus’ palms firm against Alec’s back, the other holding Alec’s hand to Magnus’ heart, Alec’s free arm coming up to drape over Magnus’ shoulder. They sway from side to side, much too slow for the tempo of the song. It’s hardly even dancing, but Alec has no complaints. He feels safe and protected and held. They stay like that, swaying together, for a long time.

It’s not the date night Alec was expecting, but it’s so much better. Because it’s _Magnus_. And reality with Magnus is _always_ better than anything Alec could ever have imagined.

 

~

 

 _oh, and you look as beautiful as ever  
_ _and i swear that every day you get better  
_ _you make me feel this way somehow  
_ _i'm so in love with you  
_ _and i hope you know  
_ _darling, your love is more than worth its weight in gold_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song they dance to is [The Nearness of You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_G2C5nJc_SA) by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong.


End file.
